


Pride in my Heart

by wildforce71



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom
Genre: Gen, X-Men First Class Kink Meme, if you look really hard, mostly fluffy, some slight angst, there's probably a plot too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-03 07:37:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1736477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildforce71/pseuds/wildforce71
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charles can't refuse Erik help when he really needs it. But that doesn't mean he has to see him. Kink meme fill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pride in my Heart

Pride in my Heart

 

He doesn't mean to end up there.

Really, he doesn't. He has other safe houses, other places to go, places he can hide and heal and rest. But he is not thinking properly, fading in and out, and he finds himself in Westchester when he's too weak to fly any more.

He calls for Charles as long and loud as he can, concentrating on it, doing everything that Charles ever complained about; mentally singing the most annoying songs he knows, describing absolutely everything he sees and hears, calling over and over again. It gets harder and harder to concentrate; he resolutely does not think about how his side is warm and wet, and everywhere else is cold.

There's no answer from Charles, no hint that he's even listening, but when he reaches the gates Hank is waiting. Erik grins, aware of how he looks. "Beast."

"Magento," Hank says shortly.

That shouldn't hurt, but it does.

"Can you walk?" Hank continues, casting a disinterested look over him.

"Made it this far."

"Stop shouting at the professor, and come with me."

Erik has to concentrate to stop, he discovers. By the time he's managed it, Hank has led him in through one of the side doors and into a guest suite, the type normally reserved for elderly relatives. "Where..."

"He doesn't want to see you," Hank says curtly. "Sit."

Hank is absolutely professional as he examines the wound, flushes it out, stitches and bandages it. He doesn't offer Erik any pain killers, and Erik doesn't ask for any. "Thank you," he says when Hank finishes - it's worth it for the look on his face - and stands to leave.

"What are you doing?" Hank asks, looking honestly baffled.

"Leaving. Isn't that what you want?"

"What I want -" Hank cuts himself off sharply. It's a shame. Erik would like to know what the Beast thinks. "You've lost too much blood," he says after a moment. "Stay here and rest."

"Harbouring a fugitive." Erik snorts, and then groans softly. "How very unlike you both."

"The professor never could say no to a lost cause."

Erik suspects that one will hurt, later, when the fuzzy feeling in his head clears. "And what is your opinion on lost causes?"

Hank tidies away his equipment and stands. "I'll bring you something to eat. There's water in your cabinet. Drink it all, you need the fluids."

He pauses at the door, speaks without looking back. "Don't leave the room, Erik."

"I'm sorry?"

"There are students here. The professor won't turn you away, but I won't have you talking to them. Do you understand?"

He wonders vaguely how Beast plans to enforce that - he won't send Erik away, not if Charles has said he can stay - but this isn't the time to push. He nods, and Hank leaves, and Erik sleeps.

*

Hank checks on him a couple of times a day, examines the wound, brings him food and more water. He rarely speaks, and never any more than he absolutely has to. Erik sleeps and sits and wonders what would happen if he just wandered out into the halls, towards the sound of voices he can hear now and then. He doesn't do it. He's betrayed Charles too many times to do it again over something this meaningless.

On the fourth day Hank removes the bandages. "Do you know how to remove stitches?" he asks, unsurprised when Erik nods yes. "Take them out tomorrow. Keep it clean for another couple of days. Try not to get in any more fights, at least for a while."

"Am I being removed, then, Beast?"

"Not until tonight," Hank says tightly. "After curfew."

"Tell Charles..."

"No," Hank says, and he says nothing else until he leaves the room, leaving a change of clothes behind.

Erik means to go. He really does. He's skating a line with Hank, with Charles, and he knows it. The door is only a few steps away from his room, and he's plenty strong enough to fly, now. There is nothing, literally, holding him back.

He finds himself in Charles' office, in the heart of the house. Curricula and timetables cover the desk, charts pinned to the walls, filing cabinet on one side. Very organised, very efficient.

On top of the bookshelf, where the whiskey bottles once stood, is a chess board, set up for a game but with no pieces moved. Erik studies it for a long time before he reaches out and moves a pawn. Charles can ignore him all he wants; Erik will leave his mark.

He leaves the house, swooping over the gate, and pretends he doesn't feel the lock being thrown behind him.

*  


He doesn't think he means it the second time, either, but it's hard to tell. He's at somewhere around seventy hours without sleep, trying to round up his followers after a mission gone disastrously, terribly wrong, and only coherent thought he has is that he can't be, must not be caught.

He isn't on mansion grounds, he's sure of that much, and it surprises him when he looks up and sees Alex waiting for him. "Come on," Alex says, short and sharp, and turns away. Erik follows him without thinking about it. He doesn't see much choice.

There's no Hank, this time, but then Erik doesn't need him this time. Alex waves him into the same suite, tells him to drink something and not to leave if the kids are around, and then leaves him. Erik manages three swallows before he's asleep, water pooling gently on the floor beside him.

It's been cleaned up when he wakes; there's a plate of sandwiches beside him, and he has no idea how long he's slept. He eats, drinks from the new bottle of water, and sleeps again.

Alex is there the next time Erik wakes, holding a tray. "Finally," he mutters.

Erik pushes up on one elbow. "How long have I been sleeping?"

"Day and a half. The police caught that one guy, the froggy looking one, but some guy with a bo staff broke him out. Blew up the windows. We haven’t seen anything else about your guys." Alex shrugs, putting the tray down and turning to go. "As soon as you can stand, you're gone."

"Yes," Erik mutters, tasting the soup. "I'm gone."

Alex is at the door when Erik adds, “How is Charles?”

“Goodbye,” Alex says, closing the door behind him.

Erik finishes the soup, drinks the ever-present bottle of water, changes into the new clothes that are waiting for him, and waits patiently until the house falls silent. Charles’ study is open, as always, and Erik studies the board for a long time. The pawn he moved last time still sits in place, and now one black piece has been moved to face it. Erik thinks for a moment before making the next move, and then he turns and leaves.

*  


The third time, it’s deliberate. Erik has spent a lot of time and effort on his information networks, and this is not how he wanted the first payoff to go. But it is what it is, and he’s not so far gone that he can let this go.

He broadcasts his arrival as normal, though this time he’s striding down the centre of the road rather than sneaking along through the woods. He thinks he should be surprised when it’s Logan who comes to meet him, but he isn’t. “Which one are you?” he calls as he approaches.

“The real one,” Logan says irritably. “What do you want?”

Erik thinks that’s a little harsh. Logan - this Logan - can’t possibly have any actual memories of him, after all. “A warning.” Logan immediately tenses, and Erik rolls his eyes. “Not from me. Do you think I’d come and warn you if I was planning on taking you out? I have a warning for the Beast. Something he’ll want to hear.”

Logan studies him for a moment before looking back towards the mansion. Erik waits patiently - it’s strange being on the outside of Charles’ telepathy, stranger to find it so easy to follow - and eventually Logan looks back at him. “Hank’s coming.”

Erik folds his arms, leaning against the gatepost. “How is Charles?”

“None of your business,” Logan mutters, turning away to watch Hank pick his way along the drive.

Hank reaches them, glancing from Erik to Logan and back. “What is it?” he says when no one seems inclined to speak.

“I come bearing ill news,” Erik offers.

“You never have any other kind,” Hank agrees. “What is it this time?”

“The government have been examining the footage from the Paris and DC incidents. They’ve made the connection between your forms.”

Hank pales, staring at him. “What?”

“Both your forms were visible in DC. They have no footage of your change, but they’re confident that they are correct in assuming that you and the Beast are the same. Trask told them that Charles and Logan were in Paris, and they saw you with them in DC.”

“How bad is this?” Logan asks quietly.

“It’s, uh - I don’t know. I’m not sure.”

“They have no plans to move on you yet,” Erik offers. “But you should know, in case it ever becomes an issue. Going Beast will not hide your connection to Charles and to this place.” And that matters, he knows; Hank is loyal to Charles and will not willingly do anything to cause him difficulty. Charles has not been chased, mostly because no one has proof he did anything worse than get knocked over during the Sentinel attacks. It’s hard to prove telepathy, especially since Charles only used his power on Raven and Erik and neither of them are talking.

“Hank,” Erik says as they turn to leave. “How is Charles?”

“Charles is none of your business,” Logan says again.

Erik completely ignores him, watching Hank. After a moment Hank’s face twists in a way that’s unfamiliar on him, and he offers a chess notation.

Erik runs it quickly, replies, and turns to leave before Logan can complain at him.

*  


The next time, he arrives in full battle gear with Gambit trailing behind, and he’s not surprised to be met by Charles’ X Men. There’s a couple of new additions he doesn’t recognise; he ignores them, focusing on Hank. “I need Charles to find someone.”

“Recruit on your own time, bub,” Logan snarls. “We ain’t doing your dirty work for you.”

Erik glances at him, telling Hank “We’ll take him, too.”

“You will not,” Alex says on reflex.

Erik is still watching Hank, who’s frowning. “What’s going on?”

“There is a mutant,” Erik says clearly, raising his voice to be heard over Alex. “A young girl with the power to kill anyone in her vicinity. As we speak, she’s moving towards populated areas. I need Charles to find her and that one to get close to her.”

“And do what?” Logan demanded.

“And calm her down. Like many of us -” His eyes slide to Hank, who’s watching with that strange look on his face, “- stress and panic weaken her control. If you can calm her, she will be safe.”

“Where is this happening?” Hank asks.

“Louisiana.” Erik waves Gambit forward. “Gambit knows the area, he can describe it to you.”

Hank and Gambit start discussing the area and how much time they might have before they have to move. Erik calls over the nearest chair, attempting to look casual as he sits.

Alex frowns, watching him. “Are you hurt?”

Not casual enough. Erik sighs. “Her powers weaken with distance. I thought I was far enough away to be safe. I miscalculated.” Alex is still frowning, and Erik smiles bitterly. “Don’t worry. If I were going to die, I would have by now.” He heaves himself back to his feet. “I will leave Gambit to help you. Don’t let him get too close until Logan and Charles have calmed her down. I need him.”

“You can’t -” Alex cuts himself off, watching warily as Erik turns on his heel to walk away.

He makes it most of the way to the gate before he has to stop to throw up. Logan arrives approximately thirty seconds later, towing Alex with him.

“You clearly can’t go anywhere,” Alex tells him.

“I can’t stay here.”

“Don’t be an idiot. One thing you never were was stupid. Anyway, you _can’t_ go anywhere. Just come on.”

Erik really wants to argue, but the ground chooses that moment to tilt sharply. He thumps into something solid and realises only when it curses that he's collapsed against Alex.

"I'm fine," he insists, and keeps saying it even as Alex starts to move. There's a shout from Gambit and an answering yell from Alex - the pain in his head spikes, though he can't make out a word - and then they're inside. Alex lets go, but something soft is there, and then there's nothing.

*

He dreams of Charles; his touch cooling Erik's burning skin, his voice saying _Erik, Erik, why do you do this? Why does it have to be like this?_ He tries to answer, but by the time he's dragged his eyes open he's alone.

He's still in the mansion when he wakes, which surprises him a little. He'd half expected to be thrown out as soon as Gambit had served his purpose. He's exhausted, completely wrung out the way he used to be when Shaw pushed him too hard, too fast. There's no real pain, just utter exhaustion.

Hank comes in, looking completely unsurprised to see him awake. "How do you feel?"

"What happened?"

"You collapsed, because you are an _idiot_."

"Charles, I never even saw your lips move," Erik drawls.

"Hank."

"I meant the girl. The mission. What happened?"

Hank, or Charles, whichever he is, eyes him for a moment. "Logan was able to get close enough for Charles to help her," he says finally. "She's here at the mansion. Your Gambit's taken her under his wing; you might just have a convert after all. Why did you do it?"

"Do what?" He struggles to sit up, grateful when Hank doesn't move to help.

"The areas she was in - almost no mutants. All humans. She would have just killed a lot of people. Why did you come to us?"

"Bolivar Trask and his kind don't need any more excuses. They wouldn't have seen a terrified girl; they'd have seen a mutant mass murderer. She'd have triggered another crusade." Glancing at Hank, he adds, "Besides, Charles, whatever you think of me, I don't use helpless unknowing children in my battles. Anyone who fights for me has chosen to fight for me."

"Hank," Hank says again, but it's half hearted at best.

"Will I live?"

"No genocidal campaigns for a while, you're going to take some time to recover."

Erik finally realises what's been niggling at him; there's no metal in the room, nothing at all. Even his uniform is missing, though he can sense his helmet not too far away. "Don't trust me?" he asks, glancing pointedly around the room.

Hank follows his gaze. "Can't afford to keep replacing things. Besides, it was getting dangerous in here. You had whole orreries going around up there."

"My powers?"

"Completely out of control," Hank confirms. "I've been working on the serum, just in case. Luckily you didn't affect much outside this room. You scared Alex, though."

"Alex," Erik echoes.

"He brought you inside, and you were talking to him. But you lost all your languages; you were talking in German, and he doesn't speak enough to know what you were saying."

"He doesn't speak enough," Erik echoes. "What was I saying, Charles?"

"Hank." It's not any more convincing this time than it was the other times. Erik gestures irritably, and Hank offers, "You wanted someone to stop. You were trying to do something, you couldn't do it, you needed time..." He trails off, and Erik wonders distantly what he looks like, that Hank suddenly looks so wary. "Can you eat anything, do you think?"

"How long have I been here?"

"Near a week." Hank shifts awkwardly. "I'll bring you something to eat, you can try. D'you want to see Gambit? He's around somewhere."

"Letting us plot right under your roof?" Erik says distantly. "Careful. We need a new base."

Hank is silent, and eventually Erik looks up at him. For a moment he can't breathe, because that expression is all Charles, disappointment and hope and a hundred other things Erik has never tried to name.

"You know that you are welcome here," Charles says, and he isn't even pretending to be Hank now. "And you know what I ask of you if you want to stay here."

"I know," Erik agrees softly.

Hank turns and leaves without another word, and Erik leans back, filling his mind with chess moves to keep from thinking about anything else.

*  


He leaves three days later, Gambit following along, the girl under Charles' care, and another piece moved on the chessboard in the office.

He knows he's welcome there. He has always known he's welcome there. His welcome is not the issue. Charles' politics are the issue; his firm belief that everyone has good in them, though he above anyone in the world should know otherwise. He's been in Shaw's mind, been in Erik's, and Erik knows enough about the Markos to know what growing up with them must have been like. But Charles refuses to see that some people are too far gone. Erik has relied on it more than once, but he can't believe it. Some people will never be any better than the ones he grew up around. He won't allow his people to be in their power; never again.

" 'S a nice place," Gambit observes. "Good people."

"Good, yes," Erik agrees. "But not the type of people we need for our war. Come along."

He walks away. He doesn't look back.

**Author's Note:**

> After the events of DOFP Erik is on his own. It is now public knowledge that he escaped from prison and his face is plastered on every television screen across America, labeling him a violent terrorist. Several months later Erik is injured during an altercation with police. Badly enough that he needs a doctor. In a bit of a desperate spot, he shows up at the mansion in bad shape.
> 
> Charles, being Charles, cannot bring himself to turn Erik away. Not when refusing him might mean Erik's capture. And capture means certain death at the hands of the government, Erik hadn't been wrong about that. So Charles agrees. He asks Hank to help him the best he can. Give him a room, patch him up, give him something to eat, let him get a bit of rest. But Charles keeps his distance, refusing to see him. It still hurts too much and Charles cannot go through that again. He already said his goodbyes. Erik takes the hint. He heals up and leaves during the night a few days later. But not before finding the chess board in Charles' study. It hasn't been touched in years, he finds. He makes the first move.
> 
> He shows up again a few months later. This time he's bee awake for nearing 72 hours straight, practically delirious with ashen dark circles under his eyes and is again granted access to the mansion. He takes the bed in his old room and sleeps a full 24 hours. He seeks the chess board and finds another piece has been moved. He takes his move and takes his leave.
> 
> A few months after that he shows up again. This time with a warning that someone in the government may have made the connection between Hank and the blue beast on television. Another move.
> 
> i.e.: The mansion becomes a sort of safehouse for Erik, who keeps showing up for totally legitimate reasons, really. He always asks after Charles. Up to the author whether or not Charles eventually gives in and agrees to actually see him.


End file.
